Well, I've not updated for a while because I haven't been wanting to admit that I was getting worse again. But I am. I feel like I'm taking tremendous steps back, although everyone just says it's a "bump in the road".
I have stopped looking on facebook for a couple reasons. A lot of people in the lyme community (not all of course) are very negative and don't post anything except about their treatment, it's depressing. I like spreading information for awareness and education, and understand sharing your fight for awareness (which is what I'm doing) but there is a point where it becomes to far and past awareness into trying to get attention. I feel that bringing this up will cause some people to get angry with me, but that exactly is my point. There is no reason this should make you angry unless you are one of those people. The other reason for stopping facebook is a little more depressing; with my current downward spiral, I'm extremely depressed. When I see others having a normal life, getting married, having kids, doing cool things, I get extremely jealous and upset. More jealousy than anything. I can't have that, I don't know when I'll be able to, and as happy as I am for those who have taken these great steps in life, a bit of me is extremely jealous. I hate that, but it's true.
Blah blah blah, I'm getting another PICC line. I'm very much not happy about this, but I feel like it's the only thing I can do right now. So, yeah, that's basically it.
